Some years ago, early in my career, I was beating my head against a brick wall. That brick wall was my boss. This particular beating took place during a product review.
During the review, I shared our team’s guidance based on user research, design reviews, user testing, etc. Insights and data that made perfect sense to me. Time and time again while giving my guidance, I was met with responses like, “But, when I do this…” or “If it were me, I’d want to…”, with a mix of how the design should “feel.”
As I countered my boss’ responses with our objective findings, I was met with statements like, “I find that hard to believe.” Previous to this, other design leaders told me I’d experience this kind of reaction one day. That day was now a reality… my boss was using their gut and was not budging from their position.
And I noticed something inside me that I had not felt before: resentment. Immediately, my inner monologue was telling me that I was right and my boss was wrong.
After the meeting (and sensing my frustration), my friend and colleague said something to me that I'll never forget.
Things go much more smoothly when you allow things to happen instead of making them happen.
As I sat and reflected on that statement, I began to think of what motivations my boss might had have had during that meeting.
I wrote these down:
- Several members of the leadership team were present
- Our research provided insights that my boss's gut feelings were incorrect
- It was possible his argument wasn’t really about being right or wrong or being data driven
- It was possible my boss didn't want me to share our findings in front of others
- In several previous meetings, it was clear my boss wanted credit for the group decision that was being made
And there it was; the my boss’ motivation. Right or wrong didn’t matter. My boss wanted credit for the decisions the team made.
From that point on, I knew I needed a different approach.
I needed to find a way to provide my boss with credit while ensuring that the decision that was made was good for our customers. I needed to do it without coercing or manipulating them.
During the next product review, I changed my tactics. Instead of sharing our insights, I just listened.
By listening, I understood my boss's motivations and beliefs. That gave me the constraints I needed as a designer to "design" a new solution. Instead of fighting for what I thought was right and what the data told me, I presented our findings as they related to my boss's concerns constraints. My boss was able to see the answer, make the decision, and get credit for the idea.
Influence begets influence. By understanding motivations and constraints of those you work with, you can become influential not only as a design leader, but also as a communicator, peer, colleague, and boss.
So take a step back, listen to all those you design for, and let others have your way.
