I stopped paying attention to a lot of design leadership guidance a while ago. Given what I do, this is ironic, but the reason was simple.*
The majority of guidance on how to be a good leader was not addressing the most common frustrations I was having. Without a clue what to do, I found myself ruminating with my frustrations.
In my head, and sometimes out loud, I found myself saying:
"The executives still don't get it!"
"We don't have enough resources."
"Every one of my peers is a level above me."
"Oh great, another re-org."
"Why do we have to keep justifying our work?"
I hated spending all of my emotional energy trying to get people to notice the value of the work or "get it." It was absolutely demoralizing when, just as progress was being made, something completely out of my control took away that momentum.
Eventually, I just couldn't ruminate anymore.
It was affecting me in every aspect of my life, and the lovely defense mechanisms that had helped me cope with these feelings were no longer working. I was so fed up with feeling frustrated that I had no choice but to try something different.
I didn't learn it in a book, and no one taught me how to do this. Yet, for some magic reason, it's been one of the most practical and effective things I've ever done for myself and the teams I've led.
Here's what I did.
I wrote down my biggest frustrations, how I expected they should be fixed, and then assumed that they would never get fixed in that way.
It led me to write these sentences:
- The executives will never "get it."
- We will never have enough resources.
- Peers will always be leveled above me.
- There will always be another re-org.
- We will always have to justify our work.
I then added one more sentence – And, we're going to win anyway.
Doing this was liberating!
I gave myself permission to think outside of the box, which helped me to design something entirely new, so that I was able to decide what good was for me, and therefore I was able to find my energy again.
I then shared these with the team I was leading at the time, and it was liberating for them, too.
We removed fixes that required someone else or something else to change as options. Doing so helped us all move forward with confidence in a way we had not experienced before.
I've reused this approach time and again, and what I now know is this:
- Ruminating strips away any sense of autonomy or agency from me.
- Hoping or waiting for things to change severely limits my ability to relieve my frustrations.
- Reframing gives me the energy I so desperately need to keep on fighting for what I believe in.
This is one of the core things we do here. We take the common challenges and frustrations you face and reframe them so you can find more of that autonomy, energy, and confidence you need right now.
*This is not a knock-on design leaders or the guidance they share. They're lovely. It's great. This is about my experience and what I needed for myself.
